"A Hard Teaching: A Merciful Savior"    San Williams, UPC

Mark 10:2-16

Can anyone here think of another scripture that creates more squirmy discomfort than Jesus’ teaching on marriage and divorce? Because interpreting this scripture is so fraught with peril, it’s tempting for both preacher and congregation to skip it entirely.  Yet surely the church needs to speak about an area of our lives that so central to our wellbeing.  No one is a casual observer when it comes to matters of  marriage and divorce.  Today let’s cast off into the dangerous waters of this scripture, trusting that Jesus’ teaching will lead us not into condemnation, or recrimination, or regret, but into the merciful arms of our Savior.  I propose that we listen to this teaching with three different sets of ears.  First, let’s hear it with the ears of those who are divorced or divorcing.  Then let’s hear it with the ears of those who are in an unbroken marriage.  And finally, let’s ponder the passage as those who don’t fit neatly into either category.   

To begin, let's try to listen to the passage as one who is divorced, or perhaps divorced and remarried.  What, we may wonder, does the Bible say about this?  Actually, the Bible says a number of different things. In Deuteronomy—the scripture to which Jesus refers in our reading—Moses says that a man can divorce his wife if he finds something objectionable about her. (Notice nothing is said about a woman’s right to divorce her husband, because she had no such right).  In 1st Corinthians, Paul says that divorce is permitted in some instances, as, for example, when an unbelieving partner requests it. In the book of Ezra—written at a time when the returning exiles were trying to purge themselves of foreign influence-- it's actually considered a noble act for a man to divorce his wife if she is a foreigner.  In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus allows divorce, but only on the grounds of unchastity 

However, in the Mark passage we read this morning, Jesus brooks no exceptions, saying starkly that humans can’t separate what God has joined together. For those who are divorced, it’s Jesus’ categorical rejection of divorce that makes this teaching so unsettling. It must likewise have troubled his first disciples, because as soon as the crowds departed, they again asked Jesus about the matter. He responds to their inquiry with yet another uncompromising pronouncement, saying that whoever divorces and marries another commits adultery.  

But if that stings our ears, we should remember that Jesus always points toward God’s higher intention for us.  He holds before us God’s will for us and for our relationships.  Divorce is not God’s will for us, and it’s not what we want, either.  I’ve yet to marry a couple who planned for their marriage to end in divorce.  Divorce splinters relationships. It represents a failure of covenant love, the breaking of a promise. Divorce hurts, and its wounds—as we all know—can be far-reaching and long-lasting.  In the fullness of God’s kingdom, there is no divorce, no hunger, no war, no lust…only steadfast love.  Yet we humans know the kingdom only in part, only through glimpses. Thus in our broken world, divorce sometimes becomes necessary or even unavoidable, even though it's not what God wills and it's not what we want.  

And certainly those of us who are divorced need not feel singled out as sinners, as adulterers. Jesus, you recall, does not limit adultery to remarriage or unfaithfulness. He makes clear that we're all included in the wide net of sin. Anyone, he tells us, who looks at another with lust has already committed adultery.  And he says to let anyone who is without sin cast the first stone.  It's true that sometimes marriages don’t live up to what God wants for us—and what, at the deepest levels, we want for ourselves.   And yes, our failures and disappointments in life may be great, but hear this:  they are never enough to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.

Now hear the teaching again, but this time with the ears of those who are married.  In our reading, Jesus quickly turns the conversation from the subject of divorce to God’s intention for marriage.  He points us to the goodness of God’s design in creation and to the goal of a man and a woman living together “as heirs of the grace of life.”  Our Presbyterian Marriage service begins with “A Statement on the Gift of Marriage.”  Those who have enjoyed a good marriage, who have in our partner someone to help and comfort us, whose love for one another has only grown and deepened over the years—we know that our marriage is a gift to be celebrated and not an accomplishment of our own doing.  Some of you in the congregation have been together through thick and thin, for fifty years and more.  We celebrate these and all good marriages as a sign of God’s Kingdom, as an imperfect but still compelling image of God’s covenant love with all creation.  Why some marriages seem deep and strong while others crumble at the foundation is a mystery beyond all understanding.  What we can understand is that we who enjoy a happy marriage must respond with thanksgiving, gratitude and humility, but we must not judge others, lest we be judged.

Finally, how do those of us who are neither married nor divorced hear this teaching?  Maybe it makes us feel like outsiders.  Often the church has so identified itself with marriage and family that those who aren’t in that demographic find themselves feeling left out, like second-class citizens.  This, even though Jesus himself was single.  Some people are single by choice, and others by circumstances beyond their control.  Still others among us are gay, lesbian, or transsexual.  When we hear this text with the ears of gay or lesbian brothers and sisters, we are apt to detect a double standard in the church:  Why is the church today generally tolerant of divorce and remarriage—which Jesus specifically denounces as sin—while so often intolerant of same sex relationships—which Jesus never mentions?   Shouldn’t we at least level the playing field when it comes to ranking human sin?    

The truth is that we all fall short of the glory of God.  The only way for any of us to be saved, to inherit eternal life, to enter God’s Kingdom, to find oneness with God is through God’s unmerited grace.  You may have wondered, as I have, why the story of Jesus blessing the children is joined to this teaching on marriage and divorce.  In this episode, Jesus rebukes the disciples for trying to send away the children.  And he tells the disciples that no one can enter the kingdom of God unless we receive it as a child does—that is, as those who are totally dependent upon God’s grace.

What this points to is the understanding that even our good marriages, if we’re fortunate enough to have one, cannot save us. On the other hand, thank God, neither will our failures, no matter how grievous, condemn us.

My friends, the only way to be rightly related to God is to come to God as did the children Jesus took in his arms, laid hands on, and blessed.  Because Jesus’ arms are open wide, if you are divorced, or divorced and remarried, you are welcome in this congregation and at the Lord’s Table.  If you are married, you are welcome in this congregation and at the Lord’s Table. And if you are single, gay, lesbian, happily engaged or decidedly lonely, Christ has made a place for you at his table…and therefore we welcome you in this congregation.